Purim Shpiel: Arye Deri appointed Israeli Supreme Court chief justice
Purim Shpiel: The following is a satirical article from The Jerusalem Post's annual parodic Purim page, The Jerusalem Roast. Enjoy!
Deri, who is set to be both the first haredi and first convicted felon to be awarded a judge’s seat, was given the unprecedented position following a special closed-door meeting of the Judicial Selection Committee – one so exclusive that even the committee members were locked outside of it.
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“I am sure that Arye’s unique insight, gained from experience in courtrooms unmatched by any other lawmaker, besides me, will be extremely beneficial to Israel’s judiciary.”Benjamin Netanyahu
“I am sure that Arye’s unique insight, gained from experience in courtrooms unmatched by any other lawmaker, besides me, will be extremely beneficial to Israel’s judiciary,” said Netanyahu before sharing a victory cigar with his longtime political colleague.
“I am pleased to be awarded this seat that I have spent so many years in my career standing on the opposite side of,” Deri said in an interview from his limousine. “I’ve spent so much time dealing with the courts that I’m probably a better expert on the law than anyone else in this country.”
“I am pleased to be awarded this seat that I have spent so many years in my career standing on the opposite side of. I’ve spent so much time dealing with the courts that I’m probably a better expert on the law than anyone else in this country.”Arye Deri
Current Chief Justice Esther Hayut wasn’t reachable for comment and hasn’t been seen in public for many days, leading observers to state that she wasn’t on board with the change.
As of press time, reports have begun to emerge that Deri was mulling some major legislative changes, in particular, Israel’s bribery laws.
