Reviewing 'Dictionary of Fine Distinctions' by Eli Burnstein

It is by no means an adverse criticism of Eli Burnstein’s new book, Dictionary of Fine Distinctions, to recommend you place it in the downstairs bathroom (or loo, if you are British) – the one used by guests. Be prepared, though, to find that from time to time it has mysteriously disappeared. In fact, I suggest you purchase several copies – to replace those that vanish and a few for your own and the family’s delectation, with one in the upstairs loo, too.

Dictionary of Fine Distinctions merits study at your leisure. Burnstein describes his little volume as “Nuances, Niceties, and Subtle Shades of Meaning.” In no particular order – in fact, just as the mood takes him – Burnstein picks out words and phrases that are commonly confused, and puts the reader straight as to the differences between them, often with apposite, amusing, and often quirky pen drawings.

Burnstein chooses to start with “emoji” vs “emoticon”

Is everyone quite clear that an emoji uses graphics, whereas an emoticon is made up from type? He proceeds to explain how to distinguish a symphony from a concerto, the differences between a bay, a gulf, and a cove, the subtle distinction between “assume” and “presume,” and how to tell an autocrat from a despot, a tyrant, and a dictator – pages picked at random from this fascinating collection of well over 100 examples of common words and expressions in need of clarification.

Flipping through the pages as one must, for the entries are in no perceivable order, I was delighted to learn the difference between a couch and a sofa, flotsam and jetsam, pasture as opposed to meadow, and hay as against straw – gobbets of knowledge that once learned, won’t be forgotten.

To get down to the nitty-gritty of Burnstein’s technique, let’s examine his entry on page 94, headed “Rational vs Reasonable.” It is beautifully illustrated with pen drawings of two heads – one containing a succession of arrows, the other a pair of scales. The former head is titled “To be rational is to be logical”; and the latter “To be reasonable is to be sensible.” He explains: “One is about thinking carefully in the abstract. The other is about being fair or balanced in real life.”

On the opposite page, he elaborates: “Rationality lets us pursue a single train of thought – sometimes to the point of tunnel vision. Reasonableness exposes our myopia to a broader, if blurrier, view.” In the illustration by cartoonist Liana Finck, he gives an example: “Your argument that humans should stop procreating is perfectly rational. It’s also totally unreasonable.”

From the near sublime to the near ridiculous, turn to pages 18 and 19 where, with a perfectly straight face and four explicit illustrations, Burnstein explains to the uninitiated the differences between tights, leggings, pantyhose, and stockings. He renders this delightful little book even more desirable by including at the rear, nine pages of additional explanation of a selection of his chosen items. Following that is, yes, a complete index, so that his pampered reader can instantly locate any item previously encountered.

He reserves a bonne bouche for his very last pages, after the notes and the index. There, we find a final entry, and perhaps a veiled warning to any potential plagiarists, an explanation of the difference between “copyright” and ‘trademark,” both registered and unregistered.

This is a book to be cherished and enjoyed – a volume that, picked up at any time, will afford pleasure, regardless of what page may be selected. Go on – spoil yourself!■